This article was written by Alan Stanford, President and CEO of My Health Care Manager and reprinted with his permission. My Health Care Manager is a national service that helps seniors and their families manage the complexities of older adult life with unbiased professional guidance related to health and independence. www.myhealthcaremanager.com
Caring for an aging parent or loved one is an incredibly important, yet often complicated task, especially when there are thousands of miles separating the caregiver (distant caregiving) from their parent. There are millions of family members who will need to administer care for an aging parent at some point, but don’t have the knowledge to do so properly and live many states apart from the parent. When health problems with an elderly person start, it’s often a long, up-hill battle.
Here are some top tips that will make life easier for the busy caregiver:
1. Have the difficult conversations about the future (living options, financial matters, advance directives, etc.) early on–BEFORE there is a crisis. Family conversations about health, finances, where to live and plans for the future are not easy. The needs of aging parents can distress adult children who are accustomed to their parent being strong and self-sufficient. This shift can also be difficult for parents to admit or accept. However, postponing these discussions prevents an honest exchange of feelings and fears, which can create more anxiety than simply talking about the issues. It is never too soon to talk about concerns in order to reach a shared understanding of preferences and options. Special family meetings are often some of the best methods for facilitating these conversations.
2. Hire someone else to do the “work” (running errands, grocery shopping, dry cleaning, etc.). Most caregivers these days are balancing a full-time job, attending PTA meetings, helping with their children’s homework and giving rides to sports and other activities, all on top of trying to care for an aging loved one. Hiring a family friend, neighbor, church member or other trusted individual allows the caregiver to spend quality time with their parents and not feel that the little time the family has together is consumed with performing endless tasks and chores.
3. Help your parents maintain close ties to the community. Older adults should remain active in the community and their adult children can help them find opportunities to maintain close relationships and form new friendships. A recent Harvard study found that people with close relationships or strong ties to their community have less cognitive impairment than those who are ‘loners’ or socially isolated.
4. Help your aging loved ones follow Harvard’s top tips to be proactive about fighting dementia and memory loss. Alzheimer’s disease is a world of uncertainty for both the person affected and their family members. Alzheimer’s and dementia affect each person differently. Some people have personality or behavioral changes, while others lose brain functioning at a faster rate. The bottom line is their world becomes different. The Harvard Men’s Health Watch* offers advice on ways to help reduce the risk for age-related memory loss, including getting more physical exercise and improving the diet.
5. Be alert to early balance problems or difficulty getting up from furniture. Studies show that more than 700,000 elders are hospitalized each year for injuries suffered inside the home. A typically safe haven for most can very easily become a life-threatening environment for the elderly. Basic everyday activities, such as climbing stairs, changing clothes and fixing meals, can actually cause serious (and sometimes fatal) injuries for those over the age of 65 living at home. Contact a physician for a Physical Therapy referral. This measure can help prevent future falls and resulting injuries and/or hospitalizations.
6. Be alert to the potential dangers of driving–especially for older adults with cognitive impairment, slowed reaction times, or other conditions. If there is a concern that an aging parent is endangering him or herself, or others when behind the wheel, the caregiver should ride along with them to assess the potential hazard. If the situation isn’t safe, then it’s time to get involved. Suggest that one day a week, a family member make arrangements for “their lunch with mother,” and include weekly errands. This way, the parent is offered the choice, “Do you want to drive, or do you want me to drive?” In instances in which someone is not available, a companion could be arranged. The companion could offer to drive or let the older adult have the option of driving…and the option is imperative. More often than not, older adults elect to have someone else take the wheel.
7. Help your aging loved ones fill their empty hours with volunteer work or other meaningful and enjoyable activities. Whether it’s volunteering through a church or hospital, playing golf or bridge, or spending time with grandchildren and other family or friends, older adults should focus on activities that give them purpose and joy.
8. Introduce your parents to the Internet if they aren’t already online. Online groups (and online support groups for caregivers) can provide hours of entertainment. The Internet also allows older adults to stay in touch with family. Numerous books and web sites offer helpful tips for helping seniors navigate the Internet. In addition, many online sites offer directories of web sites that are geared toward seniors, and are sure to offer them something they’re interested in.
9. Always have a current list of medications and doctors–and keep it communicated. According to the American Heart Association, 32 million Americans take three or more medications daily. Seniors often take double or triple that amount and sometimes more. Seniors should carry up-to-date medication and physician lists at all times, and the caregiver should have a copy, as well. For anyone dealing with multiple medications, keeping it current isn’t enough. It also needs to be communicated. When a medication list is first built for aging loved ones it should be sent to every provider and caregiver involved.
10. Encourage your loved one to stay physically and mentally active. For physical well-being, consider the local senior center for exercises, or check with a local rehabilitation facility for a wellness program offered to non-residents. For mental stimulation, seniors can keep their minds active with reading, puzzles, or one of the plethora of new Internet games geared toward the aging brain.
*The Harvard Men’s Health Watch Study: http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/causes-memory-loss.htm
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