It is most challenging trying to get a person with dementia to eat! Patience is important, as you state. I have learned to not take refusal to eat personally. Mary, who I referred to in my post, still skips supper about 2-3 nights a week. It does help to have a routine; sit down and eat with her. She has always loved salads, so putting out the ingredients on the kitchen counter and engaging her in assembling her salad (like at a salad bar), sometimes works. We try to talk about other things and listen to music she likes, as well. She tends to snack on candy throughout the day, even though we attempt to minimize her stashes. She stays in bed until at least noon, so that is another factor limiting her intake. Her husband puts out orange juice and a half banana in the morning, so when she gets up to the bathroom, she sees them. Sometimes it is successful. When I am there visiting, I also mist Young Living’s Citrus Fresh in the air about 30 minutes before mealtime. This therapeutic-grade essential oil blend can help perk up an appetite (and mood), plus the room just smells clean and fresh. If you want to learn more about using essential oils and caregiving, please feel free to contact me. Do any other readers have additional suggestions?

Peace & Blessings,

Pam

Thanks again,
-Stefanie

Chicago,IL

Experiencing a massive stroke (from both the patient’s and caregiver’s points of view) would certainly create a sense of vulnerability. I can well imagine that missed calls on the cell phone would be a trigger for you.

I’m wondering if your mother has a personal emergency response system that she is physically able to use. They certainly add to one’s peace of mind.

It is common for individuals who have suffered a stroke to experience clinical depression at some point in their recovery. I have no idea whether or not this applies to your mother’s situation. When present, it can affect their day to day outlook, as well as hopes and plans for the future. Most health professionals are pretty savvy about screening for, and treating depression that often coexists with any kind of life-threatening or chronic condition.

Many people who have had a massive stroke (or heart attack, etc.) wonder if and when it’s going to happen again…and whether the next one will be fatal. Sometimes it’s verbalized, often it’s not. It’s not always comfortable to start conversations about such topics, but it can be very meaningful to discuss, when the timing seems right. I think that patients experience anticipatory grieving, as well as caregivers.

I wish I had done more with my mother when she was more mobile. But it was great to see her delight with different things on our recent trip.

I hope you both enjoy planning and making your trip to Ireland!

Peace & Blessings,

Pam

I don’t have experience traveling in Europe. Perhaps some of our readers can offer specific resources.

Here’s a few suggestions based on my recent travel with my mother.

We used a transport chair, rather than a wheelchair. It’s lighter and more portable. The wheels are smaller (so she couldn’t use them to propel herself). It doesn’t go over crushed rock though, it needs a solid surface such as cement or asphalt. We rented it, but purchased one when we returned from our trip. It’s nice to have a side or back pocket to store small items and hold a water bottle. The one we purchased didn’t have one, so we bought a separate one to attach.

There are so many people traveling with wheelchairs these days. It was great to see! I think you’d get a lot of assistance from working with a travel agent who knows your mother’s requirements.

The trip did fatigue my mother. We just scheduled a rest break a couple times each day; mom actually needed to lie down for 30 minutes or so. She chose which activities were most important for her to experience, in person. DVDs and picture travel books were a strategy to fill in the gap. I think that a DVD on touring Ireland would be a great resource now, to both motivate your mother and help plan where you all want to go on your trip.

You may want to determine if there’s a preferred time to travel during the summer (assuming you have some flexibility). I’m thinking of potential impact on weather, crowds, special events, promotions, etc.

There may be a guided tour on a bus, train, or other motorized vehicle that is both a convenient and efficient way to visit some sights.

Hope you enjoy planning your trip together! My mom wasn’t very “gung-ho” at the beginning (lots of reservations), but she really “got into it” as time went by. It was a special and memorable trip for all of us. We took lots of pictures, so she could show friends and relatives and re-live some memories whenever she wishes.

Peace & Blessings,

Pam